SURPRISE! ...not in the good way

My absences from blogging here run pretty much along with my absences from the gym and complete adherence to my diet program.  I weighed in at the gym last week and was not thrilled but not too upset to see I had gained 7 pounds.  It seemed reasonable considering that I have been slip-sliding for about 2 months.  I am feeling very jiggly and out of shape, my legs hurt like they did before I started working out regularly.  I really am back to a starting point.

So I started back on program on Monday and finally weighed in again today.  Surprise!  I am actually up 14 pounds!  When I thought about it I recalled 2 things.  1.) I weighed in on a different scale than I usually do, and 2.) I was naked.

I usually use the scale upstairs on the gym floor fully dressed, including shoes because that is where and how I was weighed when I first started last February.  So, I guess the difference between adding  my clothes and the different scale is double!  Oh, my.  (No wonder the locker room scale is the one my daughter likes to use!)

So it is going to take a bit longer to get back to where I left off than I originally thought.  I am back to the weight I was in June.  Yikes.   If it was just the 7 pounds I thought I could be back on track by December 1, but 14 will be tough to do even by Christmas because I am going to be realistic. 

So, I am back.  Climbing up the slide I slid down!

A NEW RECIPE

I have not been inspired to write much about my progress - there has not been much of that lately.  I have been firmly in a 3-4 pound see-saw for a month.  I have to get myself back to the gym more than 3 times a week and cut out the extra calories I have been eating.  I can't really blame it on the work schedule.  I think it is just overall boredom and the need to shake things up and get motivated again.

I have been cooking some new things in response to the boredom an this recipe was really tasty and  fairly low calorie.

It would have looked better with the scallions!

STIR-FRIED GINGER TOMATO BEEF

12 oz lean flank steak
2 T minced ginger
1 T soy sauce
2 T rice wine or dry sherry
2 t cornstarch
3/4 t sugar
1/2 t salt
1/4 t ground pepper
3 t toasted sesame oil
1 t dark soy sauce (I used regular)
1 T peanut or veg oil
1 14.5 oz can whole peeled tomatoes
4 scallions, halved length wise and cut into 2-inch sections ( which I forgot to use!)

Slice thin pieces of flank steak across the grain.  (The flank steak is easy to cut when it is slightly frozen. Flank steak can be tough, so the thinner the better.)

In a medium bowl, combine the beef, ginger, 1 T soy sauce, 1 T rice wine, cornstarch, 1/4 t of the sugar, salt and pepper.Stir to combine.  Stir in 1 t of the sesame oil.

In a small bowl combine the dark soy sauce, the remaining 1 T rice wine and the remaining 2 t sesame oil.

Heat a 14 inch flat bottomed wok or 12 inch skillet over high heat until a bead of water vaporizes within 1 or 2 seconds of contact.  Swirl in the cooking oil and then add the beef.  Spread the slices out so they are in one layer in the pan.  Let the beef stay undisturbed in the pan for about 1 minute, letting the beef begin to sear. Then use a spatula or tongs to turn the pieces so the other side can brown, too.  Remove from the pan.  Add the can of tomatoes with the juice to the pan, sprinkle with the remaining sugar and bring to a boil.  Break the tomatoes into 2 or 3 pieces.  Swirl in the remaining soy mixture and then add the beef back to the pan.  Add the scallions and cook for 3 minutes or just until the beef is heated through and the sauce is slightly thickened.  (I found the sauce pretty watery.  If you want the sauce to be thicker, add 1 t cornstarch to the soy mixture added to the tomatoes.)

I served this over brown rice.

Per serving (w/o rice)
473 calories
38g protein
16 g carbs
28 g fat
3 g fiber

I think this could be made lower in fat by reducing the sesame oil and increasing the ginger to make up for the flavor. 

THE SELF ESTEEM DIET

I have been feeling guilty for not writing more here.  I have been working a lot, the training process for my new job seems to be long and slow and I have been stressed and tired because of it.  I have actually had time to write.  I have just  been out of sorts and I have been overeating and not understanding why.

Tonight I was looking around and found an article on self-esteem.  Normally I do not feel I suffer from self-esteem issues.  Most of the things mentioned in the story don't apply to me.  I can accept compliments, I have a positive attitude and try to surround myself with positive people, I don't dwell on my troubles - after all, my blogging name is Mrs. Brightside!!  So what could be the problem?

I am happy I found a job, I believe I will be good at this job, I like the people.  However,  I am frustrated by the training process.  Everyone keeps saying how much there is to learn, they keep "showing" me things.  I ask to do it, be hands on with the computer, but they just jump in and do it or stand behind me pointing at the screen so that I am not thinking my way through the steps and learning them.  Or, it has been super slow during the times I have been working and there have not been opportunities to learn different things.  I read and re-read the written instructions, but it just isn't the same as actually going through the steps on the computer - seeing where the  forms need to be filled in, where to click, which file things are in, etc.  Also different people I train with tell me different things.

So when I asked how I was doing and I was told I need to speed up, I felt bad.   I think my self esteem is suffering a lot.  I usually learn things quickly and impress people, in this job that is not happening.  It isn't that they seem upset, but they did add another training day to my schedule. 

According to the article, I need to take responsibility for these feelings, set achievable goals and not compare myself to others (the other new hire has worked in vet care for 12 years!)  Certainly, the answer is not to skip the gym and eat too much.  Why is that always the fallback response? 

Hum.  Maybe I do dwell in the negative a bit more than I care to admit.  I talk a better game than I live.  I need to live up to my talk.  Set my goals and stick with them for the job and for my healthy lifestyle.

APPROACHES TO WEIGHT LOSS

There was an interesting show on TV last night about the efforts of people to fight their obesity and some of the new scientific knowledge about appetite and the brain.  In many ways the information was not new, but it was interesting to see the combination of stories that they chose to tell.

One woman who had "done it all" including stomach stapling and was still over 300 pounds had electrodes implanted in her  brain to simulate the feeling of fullness.  One man did the whole diet and exercise route, one woman ate huge amounts of food while sleep walking.  They had interviews of other people including David Kessler, author of  The End of Overeating.

The woman with the electrodes was very hopeful at the end of the story, but I am not sure what a feeling of fullness will do to decrease cravings or eating when not hungry which many of us do.  She was saying that she did not have her usual cravings and was eating healthier - so far.  I hope they learn a lot from her willingness to try this experimental surgery.

The thing I frequently think about when seeing these stories, or when reading some of the weight loss forums (not so much the blogs) is that the focus remains so much on the food.  What I can have, what I can't have.  What I can substitute?  Making mock versions of things that people love.  It bothers me.  It is like changing one addiction (unhealthy eating) for another (substitutions/mock food).  When I tried a low fat diet many years ago, I did a lot of those things and the minute I tried real food again - I was a goner!  Back to the real thing!!

I would really like to make my continued weight loss focused on how I am going to eat going forward.  Make it about changing  my awareness and habits and expanding my real food choices - including and all those things we are trying so hard to "mock up" in reasonable amounts and on occasion.

Something I did get out of the program; I am going to read Dr. Kessler's book - I keep hearing such positive things about it.  So I am off to the library!

WISHFUL THINKING

I don't think I am alone in occasionally indulging in wishful thinking.  I have done this since I was a kid.  Something about Samantha Stevens on Bewitched wiggling her nose and being able to make things happen was very appealing and I spent time thinking about all the things I would like to change that easily.

In the past few months I have been thinking about how I want to go back to before my knees started to hurt.  It has just put such a damper on my enthusiasm for exercise. 

It's ironic, too.  Most people with my family history of osteoarthritis and knee replacements have knee pain and so they exercise and diet to relieve the pain.  I was pain free until I started to diet and exercise in earnest.  Add that to your song,  Alanis Morrisette.

Anyway, it doesn't change the fact that continuing to lose weight and exercise will help the pain and ease the symptoms and put off the surgery.  The knee already takes on a force of 3 to 6 times our body weight with each step while walking!  So reducing the amount of weight it is bearing is the best thing that can be done to help it!

I am going to a "knee class" next week, I have given in and changed up my gym routine to include what I find more boring, but less painful. 

ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL

My two slim sisters each have a daughter who tends to the heavy side - we call it the "Bradbury Gene" because that side of the family (which I take after so completely I shouldn't have changed my name when I got married!) struggles with obesity.  They have both asked me for advice about how to help their daughters.  Mostly I tell them to be honest with them that they have gotten a bad deal.  They will have to work harder and pay more attention to their diet than most of their friends.  The good news is that more is known about these things now than when I was a kid.  In those days everyone just assumed I was a sneak eater with no will power.

Research in the July 2010 edition of Genetics discloses that, in fact  some people seem to eat anything they want and never gain a pound, while others seem to gain weight just by looking at fattening foods!  This is because genes interacting with diet, rather than diet alone, are the main cause of variation in metabolic traits. This helps explain why some diets work better for some people than others, and suggests that future diets should be tailored to an individuals genes.  What works for me, may not work for you. 

"There is no one-size-fits all solution to the diseases of obesity and type-2 diabetes," said Laura K. Reed, Ph.D, a researcher from the Department of Genetics at North Carolina State University, the lead investigator in the work. "Each person has a unique set of genetic and environmental factors contributing to his or her metabolic health, and as a society, we should stop looking for a panacea and start accepting that this is a complex problem that may have a different solution for each individual."  (Emphasis mine and something I have been saying all my adult life.)

In short, the study with 146 genetic lines of fruit flies and 4 different diets  (nutritionally balanced, low calorie, high sugar, and high fat) showed that diet alone made small metabolic changes, including iweight, while genotype and genotype interactions with diet made very large changes. "This study strongly suggests that some individuals can achieve benefits from altering their dietary habits, while the same changes for others will have virtually no effect."

So, for my little nieces and others - hang on, science is coming and may just have more answers to the puzzle to make your life with food easier than mine has been!

WILL VANITY BE THE NEW MOTVATION?

I have long said that I am over vanity.  Those days are past me now.  But perhaps that is not true.  I find that I am not willing to post a picture of myself on my blog - and it has little to do with maintaining anonymity.  Now that my sister and I are starting a business, we are deciding if we will put our pictures on our website and business cards.  Skinny and younger, she said no.  Thank goodness.

But really, I need to get to the point that I am will to be photographed and published.  The photo I put on Facebook is about 8 years old and  not that great to begin with.  I have never been that photogenic - my eyes go squinchy when I smile and now that I am older that just means the wrinkles are really pronounced.

HOWEVER - I have decided that by the end of August I will post a picture of myself on my blog.  I hope that the waddle under my chin which replaced the double chin I used to have will be reduced by then...but even if it is still there, I will post it!

IT'S JUST ONE DAY

Today I was driving up and down the San Mateo coastline between Moss Beach and Santa Cruz.  My husband and son have been training and preparing for this day for a couple of months - a hundred mile bike ride and I was their support vehicle.

After they came up with the idea, they got together and drove the route, checking out the grades of the hills, the size of the bike lanes and road shoulders, the conditions of the roads.  They have been going to spin classes, going on ever longer training rides (Zac, our son, in Monterey and Tom here in the Pleasanton Tri-Valley area.)  They have been doing a lot of hill climbing and talking about their nutrition and tuning up their bikes.  They checked the weather and the winds and their equipment and their maps and on and on.  It has been quite a project.

We arrived at the meeting place in Santa Cruz at 8am and they were on the road by 8:30.  I hopped in the car and went up the road about 12 miles or so to surprise them at the top of one of the smaller hills by waving a big colorful rainbow flag we have - like it was the Tour de France.

They thought it was pretty funny, but Tom was not looking too happy.  He was cold and he said his legs were feeling dead.  They rested a few minutes and pushed on.  I stayed and had some breakfast and then went on down the road, but after about 6 more miles I saw them on the side of the road again - so I knew something was wrong.  Tom was feeling sick.  We put his bike in the car and he wrapped himself in a blanket and dropped off to sleep as I went down the road to the next rest stop and Zac rode on alone.

The rest of the day, Zac rode alone and Tom just felt terrible.  Terrible because he was sick and also because he had put so much time and energy into training for this and  now Zac was out there alone.

And isn't this how we feel when we fail to live up to our diet and exercise plans?  We feel like everything we have done has been a waste - how silly that is.  Of course it isn't a waste!  Everything we have done hasn't been for just one day.  It is for the many, many days on our bikes and in our lives.  All the training just makes us  ready for more challenges, it doesn't just disappear immediately - we can keep building on it, getting better and stronger.

That's what I told Tom and that's what I keep telling myself every time I skip a few days at the gym or go over on my calories - it is a long term thing,  not about just one day.

SCIENTIFIC PROOF LIFE IS NOT FAIR!

I loved the twists in the article I read in the NY Times about diet and exercise.  There has been some question about just how valuable exercise is when dieting.  Mostly because exercise at the level most of us actually participate, we just doesn't burn that many calories.

“In general, exercise by itself is pretty useless for weight loss,” says Eric Ravussin, a professor at the Pennington Biomedical Research Center in Baton Rouge, La., and an expert on weight loss. It’s especially useless because people often end up consuming more calories when they exercise.

“The body aims for homeostasis,”wrote Barry Braun, an associate professor of kinesiology at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, in the American College of Sports Medicine’s February newsletter. It likes to remain at whatever weight it’s used to. So even small changes in energy balance can produce rapid changes in certain hormones associated with appetite, particularly acylated ghrelin, which is known to increase the desire for food, as well as insulin and leptin, hormones that affect how the body burns fuel."

Here's where it gets unfair:

In physiological terms, the results of one study “are consistent with the paradigm that mechanisms to maintain body fat are more effective in women,” Braun and his colleagues wrote. In practical terms, the results are scientific proof that life is unfair. Female bodies, inspired almost certainly “by a biological need to maintain energy stores for reproduction,” Braun says, fight hard to hold on to every ounce of fat.

On the other hand, if you can somehow pry off the pounds, exercise may be the most important element in keeping the weight off. “When you look at the results in the National Weight Control Registry,” Braun says, “you see over and over that exercise is one constant among people who’ve maintained their weight loss.”


At least the very latest science about exercise and weight loss has a gentler tone and a more achievable goal that the study that came out suggesting women needed vigorous exercise an hour a day, every day to maintain weight. “Emerging evidence suggests that ­unlike bouts of moderate-vigorous activity, low-intensity ambulation, standing, etc., may contribute to daily energy expenditure without triggering the caloric compensation effect,” Braun wrote in the American College of Sports Medicine newsletter.

In a study Braun just completed in his energy/metabolism lab, volunteers spent a day sitting and then a day standing.  The volunteers who stood all day not doing anything in particular, metabolised  a significant number of calories without triggering their appetite hormones.  So you don't necessarily have to get on a treadmill, just get off the chair more!

I THINK I CAN DANCE

No matter how much I change up my exercise routine, I get bored sometimes.  I really enjoy it more when I have new music and I frequently change my playlists.  I am always switching around the music so it always seems fresh, adding new tunes in here and here.  I recently added a whole playlist of old Stevie Wonder tunes, they are really compatible with rowing.

Even so.  There I am, day after day at the gym.  On the equipment.  Yes, sometimes I go for a walk or ride my bike outside, but when I am at the gym.  I am at the gym...again.  So it is up to me to take myself somewhere else -  in my head. 

My favorite thing to do when I am on the Nu Step is to close my eyes and just get lost in the music.  I can really shut out all the sounds of the gym and transport myself back in time to the many places where I danced and danced through the nights.  I am no longer a big, old woman in the gym, I am young, graceful and rocking out to the Eagles or Fleetwood Mac.  In those days we didn't go to "clubs."  We went to bars.  Bars with music. 

In my head, that's where I go while I am working out in the gym.  And the time just flies away.

BAGGY CLOTHES

I have always loved clothes and fashion. One of the most frustrating things about being overweight is the shopping. the clothes are so limited and ugly and poorly made. I have long felt that the dregs of the fabric industry are saved for the plus size manufacturers because it is so rare to find an attractive print.

Anyhow, I look forward to the day when I can shop the whole store and not one tiny "department." I really look forward to the day when shopping online for clothes is something I choose to do instead of the only option. Right now I am in a strange clothes phase. I have posted before about taking in my pants. I have done it a lot...the front pockets are starting to migrate toward the back! But that's OK.

It's the tops I am troubled with. I have a lot of polo shirts and short sleeved cotton blouses which are not suited to being taken in. But when I shop for new ones, they feel skimpy. I know the shirts I am wearing are really baggy and unattractive, but I can't seem to find anything that fits right. I must be between sizes, or the shirts are just not cut with the right proportions for me. I agree with Stacy and Clinton of What Not to Wear that oversize clothes make you look bigger, but I also don't want my clothes to be tight. Skimming the body, maybe. Some space between me and the fabric, definitely!

I have a few tops that I save for going out because they still fit pretty well. Not quite so baggy, yet. And I have some old ones boxed away that I still don't quite fit back into - I tried some on this morning just to see.

Maybe by fall my weight loss and the clothes in the stores will make for a better fit!

CARROT ON A STICK

I am down four of the five pounds that I gained since mid-May. I am back to the gym on a regular basis, but with less enthusiasm, mostly because my knees are hurting. I am enjoying the summer fruits starting to come into the market and just generally I find it is easier to eat lighter meals when the weather is warmer.

So why do I feel so blah about things? Could it be because I need a little more motivation than just doing fine? Do I need the proverbial carrot dangling in front of my nose? I think so. I am going to make a list of upcoming events to aim some goals for:

* Late June - Family BBQ - Lose 1 remaining backslider pound plus 6 more.

* Late August - Back to School Time - Lose additional 25 pounds.

* October - Old Friend Visiting - Lose additional 25 pounds.

So those are my carrots - mostly to do with my appearance in front of people who I have not seen in a while. I suppose it would appear I am losing weight for other people...but really I am just looking forward to shopping for nice new clothes for when I see people!

HEALTHY SHOPPING AT COSTCO

I am still not 100% back on plan, but I am getting there. This weekend should be the turning point. I went to Costco this moring and found the most beautiful asparagus and some raspberries for the amazing price of $2.99!

I bought 2 rotisserie chickens which I will break down and freeze for salads. A big container of spinach, a big bag of celery hearts and another big bag of romaine. I got 3 bags of frozen chicken breasts and I am thawing and marinating one bag which I will grill and freeze, so they will be at the ready for salads and other quick meals. I cut up some sirloin steaks into cubes and bagged them up and put them in the freezer. They are ready for marinade and then skewering for the grill.

So, I feel very prepared and excited about some nice meals for the coming weeks. The weather is suppposed to improve and I look forward to some time working in the yard, riding my bike and working on a new mosaic.

Those 5 pounds I gained will soon be gone and I'll be taking off more from there.

HEY! THAT HELPED!

Wow - that confession stuff really works! The rest of the day yesterday I felt so much better and today I have been on plan. I went to the gym, did my workout even though my iPod was dead (a true sign that I have not been taking care of business!) and I took my punishment in stride...I gained 5 pounds since my last weigh in on May 14.

Good thing I know just what to do about it!

1.) Back on my Lifestyle products plus one Lean & Green meal a day (1200 calories)

2.) Work out 5-6 days per week, minimum 30 minutes cardio, 20 minutes weights

3.) Lot's of water and green tea

4.) 8 hours of sleep

I was planning to start my shift from the diet products to regular foods and up the calories to 1400, but I think I will postpone that another month or two.

Oh, and I banished the last of my favorite chunky natural peanut butter from the house. No more peanut butter on celery for at least a month. sob

COUNTING DOWN TO MY TRIP

I am down to the last month before I go to my daughter's graduation. One of the motivations for my diet has been this event. First of all because I didn't want to get kicked off the plane for being too fat to fit one seat. Second because we would be walking all over town and I want to be able to keep up. Third because I want to look nice. Fourth - and most importantly, because I am tired of always worrying about all this stuff and it is time to just be healthy for the rest of my life.

So, I am doing quite well. I am losing, I am walking around and climbing stairs easily, as displayed on the college tours and I am fitting into my smaller clothes. This has not stopped me from shopping, however!

The last time I went to Philadelphia in May it was very hot and very humid. I understand that the heat was unusually high, but with high humidity, even a temperature in the 80 degree range is hot. So I am planning on wearing dresses with light cardigans to the ceremonies; both are being held outdoors, one in the morning and one in the evening.

I end up doing most of my shopping online. The stores carry such limited stock of plus size clothes that I find it frustrating to shop in person. Online the options seem limitless and I have gotten ok with returns and exchanges.

I do wonder about the people who design plus size clothes and what they are thinking sometimes - for instance, why are almost all the dresses sleeveless? Have you seen the arms on us larger women? Do you really want to see our arms? Because I don't! Some sundresses and evening dresses without sleeves - fine. But the rest of them really do need a real sleeve. Not a cap sleeve. Not a flutter sleeve. A real, cover the upper arm kind of sleeve.

So I ended up ordering a couple of dresses which are sleeveless, and I NEVER show my arms. So I am buying a few lightweight cardigans which are short sleeved and long sleeved to coordinate. The dress shown is navy and white from Land's End and I bought a yellow cardigan to go with it and navy wedge sandals.

Getting excited!