I, like many of us who struggle with our weight, shy away from having my picture taken. I just find that the image does not match how I feel I look. So I avoid it. Denial? Yes. Better than self hatred, though.
But I got curious this morning. I did pose for pictures during my daughter's graduation trip and I wanted to see how they looked compared with the last photos I have of myself, which happen to be from last summer. And 59 pounds ago.
The reason I was curious is I realize I do have this tendency to think I look "better" than I actually do. I was feeling very slim on my trip, then I caught a glimpse of myself in a mirror and was surprised to see how big I still looked. I still have a long way to go to get into a more normal weight range.
But there is no doubt that I look much better than I did last summer. I am much more fit. I remember when we went to Chez Panisse in Berkeley that I was huffing and puffing walking back to our car which was parked uphill from the restaurant. It alarmed my daughter and embarrassed me.
I hope by the time the next big event rolls around that I am even more happy to pose for photos with my family.
