THE END OF THE YEAR - BUT NOT THE END

I read a quote by someone about the fact that we worry about what we are going to eat during the holidays when what we should really worry about is what we are eating the other 50 weeks of the year. So true. We do get very concerned about the opportunities to overindulge over the holidays and there is talk about being unwilling to give up the pleasures of the traditional meals, cookies and cocktails versus all the many ways we can avoid adding calories and pounds and still enjoy ourselves.


In truth, if we have been paying attention the rest of the year - is it really such a big deal to indulge during these special occasions? Beyond the question of forbidden foods and falling off the wagon and all the other ways we label our behavior around food, I think the fear is that we just plain will not stop eating once we start!

In a way this is true of me. There are so many foods I can ignore all around me much of the time. I can eat out in a restaurant and not reach for the bread basket or the chips and salsa. I can say no to dessert without a qualm, I can cheerfully choose the scrambled eggs over the french toast and navigate a buffet spread selecting the healthy items. However...if I have made monkey bread for my family for Christmas morning, I will pick at it all day until the tiny portion I served myself at breakfast has ballooned into hundreds of calories. I will not even consider eating a single cookie from the huge tin delivered to us a week before Christmas, but put a little box of See's peanut brittle in my stocking and I am fixated on it until I can eat it all in one sitting.

So, yes, I indulged. I did the dreaded holiday eating. I only ate 1 roll with dinner and skipped dessert, but came home and ate some of my own homemade cookies while I stuffed the stockings. But guess what? I didn't instantly return to my old ways. I got back on track and within a couple of days I was counting my calories and back to the gym (I admit I did not go to the gym on the Monday after Christmas - I have done that before and it is sooo crowded with guilty people working off their own splurges that it is not worth fighting over the equipment!)

And the bottom line on the No Gain Holiday Challenge so far - I am still in minus territory,  having lost weight since Thanksgiving.  I'll do my weigh in for my January post on the new site.

My new calendar is up in the kitchen, my new blog site is up and I am ready for a successful 2011.  Looking forward to spending it with my bloggy friends.  Happy New Year to us all.

TIME TO CHANGE

When I named this blog "Diet Again - 2010"  I was not thinking about the fact that it would only be a good title for a year.  I was thinking about something that rhymed with 2010.  I am only sort of creative like that!  When I started my "diet" earlier this year, I knew that it would be an ongoing thing.  One year was not likely to be enough time to meet my goals and really, it is a lifelong thing if I am doing it right, isn't it?

So I need to change the name and change the URL because I am not at all sure why I have that "customer service" title in my URL?!

I thought of using "Shrinking Susan" as my new title, but there is someone out there with some sort of book and blog around that title.  I couldn't think of anything else that sounded like me, so I finally just decided on "Fit, Food, Life".  It works now and in the future and it covers the bases even if it isn't clever.   I created a new blog on Blogger and have a new URL:  http://fitnessfoodlife.blogspot.com/.  So if you are so kind as to have me in your favorites or on your blog roll, please change me over for the new year!

GETTING THERE

I have been restoring my photos which had all disappeared from their folders on my computer.  My husband is very into backing everything up, thank goodness, so I have not lost anything. I came across this photo.

This is the only picture of me from last Christmas.  It serves well as a before picture.  Although I have not lost anywhere near as much weight as I would have wished  this year, even I can see that there is a big difference  from then to now.

So this isn't so much a before and after, but a before and getting there...

THE HOLIDAY DASH



Dangerous little buggers!!

 This is the week I needed to pack up all the boxes that must go in the mail.  I made the biscotti - as you may have seen at Cammie's Holiday Potluck - and I have wrapped some of it up in bubble wrap to send to  friends and family far away.  I ate a few end pieces of those tasty things and that may have contributed to my 0 weight change this week - that and the ham croquettes I made for my husband's birthday on Sunday. 

I have never made them before and after all the work I put into making them I was going to try ONE - breaded and fried or not!!  They were delicious.  Too delicious and too many of them leftover.  I finally tossed them out today because they were beckoning me from the frig every time I opened it!!  Why is it that Tom has been asking me to make them for him for months - he has 3 or 4 of them and then ignores all the leftovers... and they haunt me? 

So this week I am clamping down a bit harder.  I packed up all the biscotti, did my shopping so there are lots of  healthy snacks and meals and I am up to 3 gym trips already. 

MY VIRTUAL POTLUCK CONTRIBUTION!

These are decadent!  I package them up to send to friends.  Great with a cup of coffee or tea after a nice meal.

My contribution to Cammy's Virtual Holiday Potluck.




MACADAMIA NUT BISCOTTI

1/2 pound (2 sticks) butter, soft
2 1/4 cups sugar
5 large eggs
5 cups flour
4 cups macadamia nuts ( 2 bags from Trader Joe's)
1 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons vanilla
3 tablespoons Myers Dark Rum

Heat oven to 325

Cream butter and sugar.  Add eggs, then vanilla and rum.  Add dry ingredients and mix until blended.  Add nuts by hand.  Batter will be thick.

Divide into 4 parts onto parchment paper covered baking sheets and shape into logs 1 1/2 inches in diameter by 12 inches long.  Wet your hands with water to make shaping the logs easier.  (Since these spread when cooking, I just put 1 log on each sheet.)  Bake approximately 30 minutes until golden brown. 

Let cool a bit, then cut into slices 1/2 to 1/3 inches wide. 

Reduce oven heat to 250.  Arrance biscotti cut side down and bake 15-20 minutes more on each side until crisp and dry.  You may also stand them upright to bake them, just make sure there is room for air to circulate around each cookie.

Cool completely, store airtight.

IMAGINE AWAY YOUR CRAVINGS?

Drawing on research that shows mental imagery and perception affect emotion and behavior, A Carnegie Mellon research team - led by assistant professor of social and decision sciences Carey Morewedge - found that repeatedly imagining indulging in a treat decreases the desire for it.

"These findings suggest that trying to suppress one's thoughts of desired foods in order to curb cravings for those foods is a fundamentally flawed strategy," Morewedge said in a statement.  This study goes against the ages old idea that we must banish thoughts of the foods that tempt us into excess.

The researchers conducted five experiments in which 51 people were asked to imagine themselves doing a series of repetitive actions - including, in one experiment, eating different amounts of M&Ms. A control group imagined putting coins into a washing machine.   Subjects were then invited to eat their fill of M&Ms. Those who had imagined eating the most ultimately ate fewer candies than the others. Further experiments confirmed the results.

So go ahead.  Imagine the experience of unwrapping your favorite candy bar and tasting that rich chocolate in your mouth.  Or the tart sweetness of the cherries wrapped in the perfect pie crust.  Or the buttery richness of some homemade holiday shortbread.  Or...

MARCHING TOWARD THE HOLIDAYS

I am finally finished with my training on my new job, so my weekdays are again my own.  I got over to the storage unit and lugged all our holiday decorations home and today I started putting things up (and cleaning while I went.)  No excuses, but I skipped the gym knowing that I would get my exercise going up and down the stepladder, hauling boxes around and moving furniture. 

My weigh in at the gym on Sunday shows I am remaining steady at my 2 pounds a week weight loss.  The next two weeks will be critical because I am going to do some baking.  As I mentioned before, I am going to be making some biscotti to send to friends.  I am also going to share that recipe on Cammy's Potluck.  It is such a cute idea - we all share our recipes in a post on our own site which is linked in to her potluck page!

My recipe is not a low cal recipe - it is very rich and yummy:  Macadamia Nut Biscotti made with lots of butter and Myers rum.  I found macadamia nuts at Trader Joe's so I am ready to bake - photos and recipe soon.  Wish me massive amounts of willpower to get through this!!

MY BIRTHDAY LUNCH

I had one of those interesting experiences I think we all have after working on our diets for some time.  It is my birthday and my sister took me out for a nice lunch.  I have been diligent about following my rules and making very good choices and intended to do so today.

Then the waiter described the risotto special.  I love risotto.  No one else in my family likes it, so I never make it at home anymore.  I can honestly say I can't remember the last time I had risotto - and the special was made with saffron and shrimp.  I looked through the entire menu and decided.  I am having the risotto. 

I was relieved when it arrived and it was a small serving.  (It flitted through my mind that I would have been annoyed in years past. But in years past I would have been taking advantage of the basket of amazing breads on the table.)  I took one bite and I knew it was not only the right choice for a special lunch, it was worth breaking the no white rice rule!  OMG.  It was so good. 

And guess what?  I couldn't finish it.  I got full and I stopped eating.  That certainly wouldn't have happened in years past!

THANKS FOR NO GAIN THANKSGIVING!

I managed not to gobble gobble, as planned.  I have lost another 2 pounds this week.  I did get very silly on champagne and had a great time on Thanksgiving!  For dinner I ate only the broccoli rabe and the turkey with a little gravy, one small whole wheat roll and one bite of my sister's luscious lemon cake. 

I have still been avoiding the gym - which is strange.  I was there today and I was completely enjoying myself.  I was thinking about what has been holding me back from getting back into going daily and I honestly don't know what it is.  So I am just going to get up and go every morning - no excuses, no delays, no I'll go later with Ally - because then she doesn't want to go so I don't go...

That is my number one goal for this week.

MY HOLIDAY PLEDGE

Sarah over at Low Stress Weight Loss is hosting another "No Gain Holidays Pledge Group" for this holiday season and I have joined up!  She and I are both hoping to not only not gain - but to lose during the next 7 weeks of merry making. 

My Goals

1.)  I have already determined that I am going to minimize my usual Christmas cookie baking frenzy.  I am going to make some biscotti to give as gifts and make only a couple of single recipes for my family at home.  (When I am being honest - my daughter and I are the ones who eat most of the cookies and the ones who need them the least!  No gingerbread this year...)

2.)  I am going to forgo treats at events I attend.  So far that will be a work party and my family gatherings and they understand and support my efforts.  My allowed treat will be the cocktails I will drink with my family.  Usually champagne!

3.)  I will increase my gym attendance and start taking some classes.

The info is on Sarah's blog.  Basic rules :


No Gain Holidays is a commitment to yourself to hold the line on your weight from before Thanksgiving until after New Year’s Eve.


Runs 7 weeks (November 22nd – January 3rd)


You can join anytime


This is self-reported : you can post your weight or your weight loss or keep it totally to yourself. Your pants will know even if we don’t.


Join by linking up your blog (or leave a comment) on Sarah's blog!

Come on - join up we will feel so good in January when everyone else is trying to get the holiday weight off and we are ahead of the game!

UPDATING MY STATS

I realized that in addition to neglecting my blog I have been neglecting my statistics.  So I had to post that weight gain.  I am not a math person, but even I know that was a statistically significant amount to have gained back.

Today, though,  I could post the loss (again) of some of it. 

I have not been particularly diligent with my food journal.  I have been spotty at best in my gym attendance.  I am headed in the right direction and with additional effort I will pick up steam and be back to where I was in the next three weeks and then I will just have to hold on through the holiday season - as we all do.

My extra incentive is that I have a uniform to wear for my new job at a small hotel front desk.  (A blouse and vest with my own black pants or skirt.)  The blouse fits fine but the XL vest they had does not button.  It is fine to wear it open, but with my big tummy, I would look better with it closed - so...that 10 pounds I put back on would have made a difference.  Actually I am  just soo relieved that the XL blouse fit! 

HUNGRY ALL THE TIME

I had a good weekend.  Ally was out of school for a long holiday  break and we went to the gym together a couple of times and went  grocery shopping one afternoon.  Ally is also trying to drop some weight.  She is confused about how to approach it.

 She is a bit resistant to making an effort to become educated about nutrition and different approaches to weight loss.  She just wants to know what is "good' and "bad" and gets mad when I won't labels things that way.  Ally is like me, she is carb carb sensitive and more of an emotional eater.  Unlike me, she has a limited palate.  (Or perhaps she still needs to grow into it.)  With her limited likes and stubborn nature, it is hard to direct her easily to a good weight loss plan. 

We went through the grocery store aisle by aisle talking about options and choosing foods to buy and how to fit them into her schedule and not look weird at school and if she should try to count calories or cut out fat or carbs or what to do.

And she said to me "But eating this is not going to make me full, I am going to be hungry.  So I am just going to have to be hungry all the time?"  That made me think of those actresses who talk about being hungry all the time to stay thin.  It made me feel so sad and helpless because, yes, we can alter our appetites.  Our stomachs can "shrink" and we will feel full with less. I know that there is a difference between mouth hunger and stomach hunger.  Between wanting to eat and needing to eat.

 But really?  During most of this year that I have been losing weight, I have been hungry.  I have done things to distract myself because I don't think I should be hungry.  I ignore the feeling.  I try to embrace the feeling . But I am hungry.

So how do I tell my child she has to feel hungry to get healthy?

STALKED BY SPARK PEOPLE

I really like the convenience of online food journals.  I started a long time ago using one that charged per month.  It is still the one I like the best, but I have gotten to the point that I don't want to spend my limited resources on that when there are free options.

Unfortunately, you get what  you pay for.  All of the sites I have tried have downsides.  I was using Fitday for quite some time but suddenly it won't let me log on and won't send me an e-mail so I gave up even though it is full of my personal data.

The latest one I am trying is SparkPeople because I saw that a favorite blogger, Cammy, uses it.  But geez Louise!  In four days I have gotten , and I counted them up, 15 e-mails from them.  I have gone back in and readjusted some of the preferences that I missed the first time in, so it should get better.

Also, it is hard to find the content through all the ads.  I am sure my eyes will adjust to that, too.  When I have a month worth of entries I will evaluate the site and see if I like it.  At this moment, I am thinking that paying the $9.00 a month for myfooddiary.com isn't so bad!

Anyone else using online journaling?

SURPRISE! ...not in the good way

My absences from blogging here run pretty much along with my absences from the gym and complete adherence to my diet program.  I weighed in at the gym last week and was not thrilled but not too upset to see I had gained 7 pounds.  It seemed reasonable considering that I have been slip-sliding for about 2 months.  I am feeling very jiggly and out of shape, my legs hurt like they did before I started working out regularly.  I really am back to a starting point.

So I started back on program on Monday and finally weighed in again today.  Surprise!  I am actually up 14 pounds!  When I thought about it I recalled 2 things.  1.) I weighed in on a different scale than I usually do, and 2.) I was naked.

I usually use the scale upstairs on the gym floor fully dressed, including shoes because that is where and how I was weighed when I first started last February.  So, I guess the difference between adding  my clothes and the different scale is double!  Oh, my.  (No wonder the locker room scale is the one my daughter likes to use!)

So it is going to take a bit longer to get back to where I left off than I originally thought.  I am back to the weight I was in June.  Yikes.   If it was just the 7 pounds I thought I could be back on track by December 1, but 14 will be tough to do even by Christmas because I am going to be realistic. 

So, I am back.  Climbing up the slide I slid down!

WHAT'S IN A NAME?

We have all heard a lot of negative talk about high fructose corn syrup.  Companies have been removing it from their products and advertising that their products do not contain this ingredient because of the public perception of high-fructose corn syrup as unhealthful,  including Hunt’s Ketchup, Ocean Spray Cranberry Juice and Wheat Thins crackers.

However, the food industry is now attempting to get around the bad publicity of HFCS by asking the FDA for a name change to corn sugar.  Why is the food industry so intent on using this product? 

Compared with sucrose, high-fructose corn syrup doesn’t mask flavors, has a lower freezing point and retains moisture better, which is useful in making foods like chewy granola bars. And because the corn crop in the United States is heavily subsidized, high-fructose corn syrup is also cheap. As a result, it’s now used in so many foods that it has become one of the biggest sources of calories in the American diet.

The reality is that HFCS is not any more unhealthy than other sources of sugar, it is unhealthy because it is possible to put it into so many different food products, often in addition to sources of  sugar.  It is found in products where we don't think to look for sugar.  Like Stovetop Stuffing, Cough Syrups, salad dressings,  canned soups and  tomato sauces and  virtually every cereal, cracker and bread product. 

At least for those tings there is a label to read, the problem gets worse in restaurants where the use of "layered" flavors has become state of the art in attracting diners and getting them to return for more.  The use of fat and sugar in combination is known to become "irresistible"  for some people and restaurants and fast food outlets rely on this unhealthy combination to keep customers coming back for more.

The F.D.A. has six months to respond to the name-change petition. If the agency accepts it, the decision on whether to allow the name “corn sugar” on food labels may take another 12 to 18 months. 

LIFE

I have been silent for a bit - things going on in real life.  I have not gone off the rails, still pretty much on plan.  I'll be back online next week.

A NEW RECIPE

I have not been inspired to write much about my progress - there has not been much of that lately.  I have been firmly in a 3-4 pound see-saw for a month.  I have to get myself back to the gym more than 3 times a week and cut out the extra calories I have been eating.  I can't really blame it on the work schedule.  I think it is just overall boredom and the need to shake things up and get motivated again.

I have been cooking some new things in response to the boredom an this recipe was really tasty and  fairly low calorie.

It would have looked better with the scallions!

STIR-FRIED GINGER TOMATO BEEF

12 oz lean flank steak
2 T minced ginger
1 T soy sauce
2 T rice wine or dry sherry
2 t cornstarch
3/4 t sugar
1/2 t salt
1/4 t ground pepper
3 t toasted sesame oil
1 t dark soy sauce (I used regular)
1 T peanut or veg oil
1 14.5 oz can whole peeled tomatoes
4 scallions, halved length wise and cut into 2-inch sections ( which I forgot to use!)

Slice thin pieces of flank steak across the grain.  (The flank steak is easy to cut when it is slightly frozen. Flank steak can be tough, so the thinner the better.)

In a medium bowl, combine the beef, ginger, 1 T soy sauce, 1 T rice wine, cornstarch, 1/4 t of the sugar, salt and pepper.Stir to combine.  Stir in 1 t of the sesame oil.

In a small bowl combine the dark soy sauce, the remaining 1 T rice wine and the remaining 2 t sesame oil.

Heat a 14 inch flat bottomed wok or 12 inch skillet over high heat until a bead of water vaporizes within 1 or 2 seconds of contact.  Swirl in the cooking oil and then add the beef.  Spread the slices out so they are in one layer in the pan.  Let the beef stay undisturbed in the pan for about 1 minute, letting the beef begin to sear. Then use a spatula or tongs to turn the pieces so the other side can brown, too.  Remove from the pan.  Add the can of tomatoes with the juice to the pan, sprinkle with the remaining sugar and bring to a boil.  Break the tomatoes into 2 or 3 pieces.  Swirl in the remaining soy mixture and then add the beef back to the pan.  Add the scallions and cook for 3 minutes or just until the beef is heated through and the sauce is slightly thickened.  (I found the sauce pretty watery.  If you want the sauce to be thicker, add 1 t cornstarch to the soy mixture added to the tomatoes.)

I served this over brown rice.

Per serving (w/o rice)
473 calories
38g protein
16 g carbs
28 g fat
3 g fiber

I think this could be made lower in fat by reducing the sesame oil and increasing the ginger to make up for the flavor. 

WORKING LATE

I need advice and wisdom on how to deal with the nights I work.  I leave for work at about 4:30 pm.  I usually eat lunch and then a large snack before I go to work.  I take something I can eat quickly and discretely during the evening as I do not get an actual dinner break.  I have taken things like salad or fruit, cheese and whole wheat crackers.  I also take an Atkins bar in case I am really hungry or want something a bit sweet.

I generally eat my "dinner" in two parts during the night before I leave at 1 am.  When I get home, I have a cup of tea to unwind.  I am frequently very hungry again by this time.  I have tried going to bed hungry.  I have tried having a little whole grain cereal or an Atkins bar but what I am really craving is some major carbs.  I realize that is because this is a comfort food for me and I and trying to de-stress from work and get settled enough that I can go to sleep - so this have been a slip sliding area a couple of times.

So - what to do in the middle of the night?  If I save calories for it, I think I will really be hungry during the day but having veggies in the middle of he night is not going to satisfy part of the "hunger" going on.  I don't sleep late enough the next day to make up for the "late night meal."  Do I just make allowances for extra calories 3 nights a week? 

SOME POSITIVE RESULTS



A woman can dream...

 I have been noticing some little differences in my life that I must add up and say are a nice list of positives from my weight loss so far.  I tend to see how far I need to go and lately I have had the opportunity to notice how far I have come.

I no longer have to worry if I am going to fit into a booth when we go out.  For a while I asked for a table because, if I could even slide into the booth the table was usually pressing into me.

When I took my daughter to the doctor, I noticed that the arms of the chair no longer touch my hips when I sit down.  There was a time that I shimmied in and out of those chairs or sat on the edge so I wouldn't be wedged in.

I am now ordering 1X size tops.  That means I got 6 new tops on clearance for between $6.-10.00 each.  In the past my size was rarely available on clearance.  Even better, this puts me really close to shopping in the regular sized stores.

When we were on our trip and had to climb up the hill from the beach to the bluffs, I didn't have to stop to rest or catch my breath. 

The towels at the gym almost cover me when I wrap them around me coming out of the shower. I admit that the first time I noticed this I thought they must have gotten bigger towels!  Then it dawned on me that I am actually getting smaller...

Sothere are some of the little positives in my life - how about yours?

BACK ON

I am back online and getting back on plan.  I had the experience many people talk about - I was away from blogging, reading blogs and surfing the net for over a week.  It was odd at first,  I felt a bit remiss, like I neglected to say goodbye before leaving on a long trip or something.  Then I just sort of went on with life.  Life does that.  It fills in around the empty spaces of time and then they aren't empty anymore.

We had a lovely trip for our anniversary.  We went back to the little inn where we stayed for our first anniversary 25 years before.  It is much more upscale now and we enjoyed the very good food in the dining room and the short stumble up the stairs to our spacious room after significant quantities of wine.  The weather was fabulous - warm and sunny.  We hiked around and found places on the beaches and bluffs to camp out in the sun with our books, watching the birds riding the up currents of air and enjoyed a coral colored sunset.

I was not "on plan" in the least.  I had a taste of how I might live when I am not counting calories and living by my current rules.  My husband has been very supportive of my diet plan, but he has been a bit bothered by my not drinking when we've gone out in the last 6 months.  I had both cocktails and wine on this trip.  I had bread which was not whole grain, I ate some home fried potatoes, we shared a dessert one night and I had a pastry for breakfast one morning. 

The pastry choice as a real splurge - there was not a whole grain option and pastries were the only thing available.  The other things I ate just a bit and enjoyed the taste.  I left food on my plate from the two breakfast meals.  Dinner options were great and I had "light" choices and I ate every delicious bite.  The night of much wine following cocktails I ate more bread than I normally would -  it was GOOD bread and the excuse in my head, of course, was it would sop up the alcohol!  I didn't have a hangover in the morning - but I think that is luck - not bread!

But we walked a lot and climbed up and down the cliff to get to and from the beach. My husband is not one to just sit around when we are travelling, but we did have a very relaxing time.

So now I am getting back on plan.  Oatmeal with berries for breakfast as soon as I finish this post.  Glad to be back online and looking forward to catching up with everyone.

WHAT'S UP

The computer crashed for good and I have lost access to all my stuff!  Hope to get a new one soon.  Meantime...I am offline for a bit.  (I am on a borrowed laptop right now.)

Also going out of town to celebrate our 26th anniversary this week.  Off to the beach!

RULES RULE

I know a lot of people hate rules.  I happen to be okay with rules.  I like knowing what is expected of me in social situations (etiquette) and having an understanding of what to do at a flashing red light (rules of the road) and having little ditties to remind myself of things (righty tighty-lefty loosey).

So I am okay with the idea when the author of The End of Overeating said to make rules for myself to help navigate past the foods that are all around me which are speaking directly to the depths of my brain.  Studies show that there is a  cycle of "cue-urge-reward-habit" which is imprinted on the brain.   It is highly automated and below the level of conscious awareness.  We must rely on other levels of the brain, the frontal cortex which makes conscious decisions, to override the strong emotional/repetitive behavior.  They say the frontal cortex has  Executive Control over our actions and that is where the rules come in.

So one of my rules is Whole Grains only.  I am eating low carb because I am a carb lover - love the bread and pasta.  So when I am dining out, this rule saves me.  For instance, the other night, I got out the door to go to work without my dinner.  When the staff was putting together an order at about 7 pm and I was hungry, I was tempted.  They were going to the Mexican place.  I looked at the menu and thought I could order a chicken quesadilla with just a little cheese.  But they didn't have whole wheat tortillas (I don't like corn) so I did not order.  I was hungry, but I ate a snack when I got home.

I was saved by my rules.  The other part of this, according to author David Kessler, is that the response must be automatic.  The minute you start bargaining or thinking about it you lose the upper hand.  It must be a rigid response to "rewire" the brain. 

There are more "food rehab" tips I will write about lateer in the week.  What are your rules that help your "rehab"?

MORE ABOUT THE "COST" OF OBESITY

Have you read he latest study on the "costs" of obesity?  There are many interesting statistics which have been pulled together from a number of studies and put into a report by George Washington University researchers.  Most of it we have heard over and over about the health care costs being higher and work productivity being lower.  This report even adds in the cost of clothing  and gas - guess what?  Higher.

One thing that makes me mad is that they report that wages for overweight women are lower than wages for overweight men.  Men are not penalized for their weight in the workplace, at least when it comes to salary, but women are.  Dig deeper in the study and you see that you are less likely to even be hired if you are overweight and white.  The highest number of overweight women working are African American or Hispanic.

They do not examine the attitudes behind the lower salary and hiring decisions.  I am sure they want it everyone to think it is all about the numbers.   But it is well known that working mothers miss more days of work  than working fathers because that is how families traditionally handle sick children.  If the woman happens to be overweight - she is counted for this as being related to "obesity."  Thus overweight women have higher absenteeism.  These studies don't scratch the statistic to find the reality underneath and that bothers me.

In the study they suggest more research needs to be done on the reason health care costs are lower for obese African American women.  They also admit that more needs to be done to break out the gender related medical costs.  You think?  Women, by virtue of our biology have higher medical costs, what with child birth and all.  Tossing all of that together and calling it obesity related is very misleading and self serving.

Just as misleading is assuming that every medical intervention has to do directly with one's weight.  My skinny sister has sleep apnea and so do I, but I am sure mine is "related to my obesity" in some statistic somewhere.

I know I am pretty sensitive on this subject.  I am very healthy.  I missed one day of work for sickness in five years.  I have never been to an emergency room.  My health issues do not relate solely to my weight. (ie: I know that my knees will be happier when I lose more but my bad knees are genetic.)  I do not have heart disease, diabetes or high blood pressure. 

I am tired of feeling like I am the scum of the earth, the cause of our societal problems and that I deserve all the trouble I had getting a job because I am fat.  I am tired of being a scapegoat along with the smokers and the illegal immigrants.  Even the bankers are treated nicer...

THE SELF ESTEEM DIET

I have been feeling guilty for not writing more here.  I have been working a lot, the training process for my new job seems to be long and slow and I have been stressed and tired because of it.  I have actually had time to write.  I have just  been out of sorts and I have been overeating and not understanding why.

Tonight I was looking around and found an article on self-esteem.  Normally I do not feel I suffer from self-esteem issues.  Most of the things mentioned in the story don't apply to me.  I can accept compliments, I have a positive attitude and try to surround myself with positive people, I don't dwell on my troubles - after all, my blogging name is Mrs. Brightside!!  So what could be the problem?

I am happy I found a job, I believe I will be good at this job, I like the people.  However,  I am frustrated by the training process.  Everyone keeps saying how much there is to learn, they keep "showing" me things.  I ask to do it, be hands on with the computer, but they just jump in and do it or stand behind me pointing at the screen so that I am not thinking my way through the steps and learning them.  Or, it has been super slow during the times I have been working and there have not been opportunities to learn different things.  I read and re-read the written instructions, but it just isn't the same as actually going through the steps on the computer - seeing where the  forms need to be filled in, where to click, which file things are in, etc.  Also different people I train with tell me different things.

So when I asked how I was doing and I was told I need to speed up, I felt bad.   I think my self esteem is suffering a lot.  I usually learn things quickly and impress people, in this job that is not happening.  It isn't that they seem upset, but they did add another training day to my schedule. 

According to the article, I need to take responsibility for these feelings, set achievable goals and not compare myself to others (the other new hire has worked in vet care for 12 years!)  Certainly, the answer is not to skip the gym and eat too much.  Why is that always the fallback response? 

Hum.  Maybe I do dwell in the negative a bit more than I care to admit.  I talk a better game than I live.  I need to live up to my talk.  Set my goals and stick with them for the job and for my healthy lifestyle.

WILL YOU EAT IT ONCE YOU KNOW?

Many years ago when my youngest was still in a stroller, they opened a Cinnabon in the mall.  Cinnamon rolls for me are one of those foods with so many happy memories attached.  A special food made by my mom for special occasions, a tradition I carry on with my own family.

I have never been one to buy store baked things except for bread.  I am a bit of a snob that way!  But I must say that the mere smell of the Cinnabons told me that they were making a high quality cinnamon roll, and I stopped in and bought one.  I split it with my 3 kids and we all loved it.  Getting a Cinnabon - without icing because that made it too sweet - became an occasional treat when we went to the mall and they behaved.  Then there was a newspaper article about the franchise which disclosed the nutritional content.  The fat content was equal to 3 days worth of recommended dietary fat.

I have never eaten another Cinnabon.  That was in 1998.

So when people question whether putting the nutritional counts on fast food menus or receipt, as they are doing in one Pacific Northwest burger chain called Burgerville - I say YES!  It really can have an impact on people.  They use a service called Nutricate which displays the Calorie and nutrition content of the food ordered and shows the customer exactly how many Calories they are eating. Burgerville seeks to be a fast food industry innovator and to set the standard for other chains to follow. 

Critics say that people who want a cheeseburger won't care, but my experience says otherwise, sometimes you just need to see the numbers right in front of your nose, instead of having an idea of what it could be floating around in your mind.

 I think that is just great, and I hope other restaurants will do the same thing.

A FEW CHANGES

Well, I added a photo as I promised.  Ally took pictures of me before we went out for her birthday dinner.  None of them turned out well but she insisted the one I posted was "a good one"  (even though we were making silly faces by then) so I am using it until we have another photo session.

I have found that my new work environment is going to be very supportive of my dieting.  I will be working very long shifts and it is so busy that it is rare that an actual break is taken for lunch or dinner.  As long as I bring healthy, easy to eat on the run foods for the short breaks I will get - I will be set.  There is a vending machine, but I did not look at the contents, nor do I tend to carry change.  I do not plan to use it - ever.

I do sit at a desk a lot of the time, but I am also up and down to use different equipment, going to the back to speak with the vet and nurses and back up front.  I appreciate that I am not stuck in a chair for 8-10 hours.  I plan to get outside to walk around when I do get break.

SOME LIGHTBULB MOMENTS

A follow-up to my post yesterday...

I did go to the library and checked out "The End of Overeating."  I started reading it this morning.  Already two things popped out at me relating to what I wrote yesterday.  I mentioned that I was anxious about my daughter and I was wanting to eat, even though I wasn't actually hungry. 

Dr. Kessler writes about the power of opiods within the body to calm us and give us pleasure.  The neurons of the brain that are stimulated by taste and other properties of highly desirable foods are part of the body's primary pleasure system.  Studies have shown that there are changes in the circuits of the brain after exposure opiods which cause a desire to keep eating beyond fullness or even being interested in the taste. That the drive, in fact, becomes just slightly less than that for heroin.

Reading that makes me feel pretty good that I only ate a peach!

The second thing was about my dislike for the focus on mocking up foods - like making "mock" mashed potatoes. Or tying to mimic the taste of a candy bar with a bunch of artificial flavors in a protein drink.

I have only read one chapter so far about the food industry, but it is very damning.  the amount of effort that is made to layer fat on fat and add salt and sugar into everything is just disgusting.  And Dr. Kessler names names - Cheesecake Factory, Chili's, Outback and more.  Foods have been manipulated, people have been manipulated - so it is no wonder they are trying to re-create what their brains have been taught to crave.

I will be reading on...

APPROACHES TO WEIGHT LOSS

There was an interesting show on TV last night about the efforts of people to fight their obesity and some of the new scientific knowledge about appetite and the brain.  In many ways the information was not new, but it was interesting to see the combination of stories that they chose to tell.

One woman who had "done it all" including stomach stapling and was still over 300 pounds had electrodes implanted in her  brain to simulate the feeling of fullness.  One man did the whole diet and exercise route, one woman ate huge amounts of food while sleep walking.  They had interviews of other people including David Kessler, author of  The End of Overeating.

The woman with the electrodes was very hopeful at the end of the story, but I am not sure what a feeling of fullness will do to decrease cravings or eating when not hungry which many of us do.  She was saying that she did not have her usual cravings and was eating healthier - so far.  I hope they learn a lot from her willingness to try this experimental surgery.

The thing I frequently think about when seeing these stories, or when reading some of the weight loss forums (not so much the blogs) is that the focus remains so much on the food.  What I can have, what I can't have.  What I can substitute?  Making mock versions of things that people love.  It bothers me.  It is like changing one addiction (unhealthy eating) for another (substitutions/mock food).  When I tried a low fat diet many years ago, I did a lot of those things and the minute I tried real food again - I was a goner!  Back to the real thing!!

I would really like to make my continued weight loss focused on how I am going to eat going forward.  Make it about changing  my awareness and habits and expanding my real food choices - including and all those things we are trying so hard to "mock up" in reasonable amounts and on occasion.

Something I did get out of the program; I am going to read Dr. Kessler's book - I keep hearing such positive things about it.  So I am off to the library!

GYM HOLIDAY CROWDS

It was very interesting today at the gym.  With the holiday it was a whole different crowd of people.  I don't exactly stick to a super regular schedule, but going today made me realize how many familiar faces I usually see.

And the people were behaving differently, too.  At one point I looked up from the rowing machine and I saw groups of men in twos and threes, leaning on equipment, talking together.  Everywhere I looked, there they were - an image from the movie "The Birds" popped into my mind.  After a bit they began to go their separate ways and the image of  something being plotted faded away.

It was crowded and I gave up on using the weight equipment and went to another area to do my knee, back and ab exercises.  I usually take my iPod off for this but there was a young woman speaking a a loud voice to a man while running on the treadmill so I kept it on.  I could not turn it up loud enough to drown out all of what she was saying.  I especially could not miss that the F word was one of her favorites.  So - is it just me?  I think it is unattractive and rude to speak that way in public.  I know some people think words are just words, but in  public I still think there should be some restraint.

Anyway, I moved on and did a little people watching while I was stretching out and cooling down.  There were some older men wearing short shorts.  My girls get very upset by the sight of men in short shorts.  They don't realize that was what men wore on the basketball and tennis courts 20 years ago - it was the style all the guys wore.  Recently I heard a young person say a  rude name for speedo swim suits (banana hammock, if you must know)  but I was a timer for my high school swim team and have fond memories of those speedos and the boys wearing them! 

We may have used more ladylike language, but we knew not to complain about the opportunity to take a good look at athletic young men.

GETTING UP TO SPEED

  I still have a cough and some nasal congestion so I am slowly getting back up to speed at the gym.  (And I am wiping the equipment down after I am done so I don't pass it on!)  I was happy to see that I still lost 3 pounds in the last 2 weeks since I weighed in.

I have not written a lot about my unemployment and job search woes on this side of my blog - but I did finally get a job!  It comes after I decided I was unemployable and started working on a new business with my sister...but I applied for it because it was a weekends only position  working for an animal emergency clinic and I thought I could do both.  Now it turns  out that they want more hours on the new job, but it is night time hours plus the weekends which would make me a full time employee.  My husband is thrilled because it means I can bring home the benefit package (he is self-employed.) 

So this is going to add many new elements for me to deal with.  I will not be home to make dinner some nights.  I will be away from home for some of my meal times.  I will be working late into the night some nights.  I will be sleeping through my usual workout times on some days.  My schedule is going to vary wildly  - where now I am very steady about when I go to bed and get up.  So this will be an interesting set of adjustments.  The good thing is that my scheduled work days will be limited to Saturday-Sunday-Monday.  The rest of the week will depend on what is happening with the business with my sister and will be flexible.

Interesting times to come!!

FEELING BETTER - A FRESH START

Last week I had a bad cold.  I joked that I went outside my usual little routine of home, gym and grocery shopping and ventured to the mall with my daughter and exposed myself to the big bad world of germs! 

I didn't go to the gym or the store or even to the mailbox for 5 days.  I was miserable.  I didn't concern myself with my diet plan and overate carbs and calories.  I will see the damage tomorrow when I go back to the gym.  I am not going to beat myself up over it.  I see today as a new start.  I have been struggling all summer trying to find my way, trying to find my "plan."

I lost the first 50 pounds or so using products from Lifestyle.  I was so determined and I stuck with it even though I was hungry most of the time.  Then I wanted to go off the products and maintain the calories at the same 1200 level on good foods.  I know I am triggered by carbs, so the plan was low carb ( whole grain only, no sugar, fruit ok.)  To stay in the 1200 range carbs are not a good choice, anyway.  As I said, this has been a struggle.  I have had trouble with foods I overate - like peanut butter and oatmeal/granola.  I have had trouble with my family being bored by my repetitive meals. 

And I don't like that it has been so 2 pounds off, 1 pound back, no loss for two weeks.  It is frustrating and I just don't care to always feel like I should be berating myself .  So - what to do?

I need a more specific plan.  Not back to the products, although I have some left and will use them as snacks and meal subs when appropriate.  No Atkins style low carb because that is not how I want to live the rest of my life, but I must be aware of how very sensitive I seem to be to bread/pasta/carbs (have some - want more, more, more!)

I like Cammy's plan of 5-7 fruits and veggies daily, low fat proteins and whole grains.  I will need more specifics, just winging it day by day has not been working for me - so I am going to work out a list of meal plans and calorie counts to keep myself in the 1200-1500 range.

Any other input?

BLECH

They don't need to come up with a cure for the common cold.  They just need to come up with a cure for day 2 and 3 of the common cold.

SIZE ALWAYS MATTERS

Reading the nutrition labels is something I have done for a long time.  Looking for the sugars, the types of fat, the protein and the whole grains all in turn depending on whether I am concerned about weight or bulking up my picky daughter's nutrition.  I have long known to check out the serving sizes in relation to the calorie counts.  That has save me from many a foolish purchase!

I have been entering my recipes into a program which gives me the nutritional analysis and calorie counts and I have realized that I need to pay more attention to those serving sizes.  Especially for side dishes.  For example, I made a dish the other night which called for 2 pounds of Swiss chard.  So the fact that it was  4 servings seemed fine - until I saw what it looked like when it was cooked...it was minuscule.  If I placed 1 serving on my husband's plate he would wonder why I was giving him serving like those chi-chi restaurants! 

He doesn't care about how many servings his dinner actually is, but I certainly do - so this was a good lesson for me because a serving is 147 calories - now double that!

KNEE CLASS

Just a quick post about my OA knee class today.  I learned a few things and have some new exercises and stretches to add to my routine.  The others in the class seem to be affected in only 1 knee, but 2 were more hampered by their pain and one is a trainer and spin instructor who just keeps going through her day and is in pain at night when she stops.  So I feel lucky that mine has become more work-out related with occasional flare ups and aches at night.

Anyway, my big question was: do I keep doing things if they hurt?  The physical therapist said if the pain stays at about a 3-4 and doesn't get worse, then it is okay.  So I can do most of my old routine at that level - just keep going through the discomfort.

I also realized that I am getting more of my range of motion back, so the exercises are working.  Hurray.

I have also been using the stationary bike which I find boring, but if I bring my book the time goes by pretty fast.  I put the book down every so often and do a speed interval.  I have been keeping my heart rate up in the fat burning range even while I am reading - which came as a surprise that I wasn't bouncing around too much to focus!

So for the time being I will avoid the water classes.  I can get over being the youngest in the class by 20 years or so,  I just don't want to deal with getting wet and showering and all that rigmarole.

EMOTIONAL EATING REARS IT'S UGLY HEAD

So this will not turn into a tell-all or a tirade.  I will say that I am not married to one of those super wonderful guys that I so often hear other women writing about when they describe their husbands.  Mine is a difficult man.  He is extremely intelligent, occasionally funny and charming, a good dad but not always a nice or patient man.  After 27 years I am still stung by him, still hurt and sent off my even keel by his words.  (I will say that he never says anything negative about my weight or appearance.)

I don't blame him for my weight issues.  Those started with puberty.  It was much easier to manage my weight when I was single - not cooking for others.  I could shop and cook to my tastes and needs.  I've liked whole grains and natural foods since the 70's and changed my cooking for my family...more irony.

Anyway.  Because I have been out of sorts for the past couple of weeks, so has my eating.  As usual, it isn't like I have gone out and gotten "bad food" to binge on.  I have just eaten too much and not lost any weight.  I have been going up and down a couple of pounds for a few weeks.

I have been thinking about those groups like Overeaters Anonymous where you get support and learn to deal with emotional eating.  I have read the blogs of some women who have attended those groups and I just don't think that approach would work for me.  The structure and higher power thing chafes.  I did attend a few sessions of a Eating Disorders group at my local Kaiser office. The women seemed nice but they had been together for a while an I felt so outside all the inside stuff.  The therapist was very condescending to me when I spoke - it just didn't give me a good feeling. 

I have done some therapy work around these issues. I think I know what they stem from but knowing them doesn't resolve them.  So I need to get myself to that next level where I am stronger against the impulses to soothe/smother my feelings with food.

So, ladies, have any of you with these issues gotten to that level?  How have you managed it?  Advice?

WISHFUL THINKING

I don't think I am alone in occasionally indulging in wishful thinking.  I have done this since I was a kid.  Something about Samantha Stevens on Bewitched wiggling her nose and being able to make things happen was very appealing and I spent time thinking about all the things I would like to change that easily.

In the past few months I have been thinking about how I want to go back to before my knees started to hurt.  It has just put such a damper on my enthusiasm for exercise. 

It's ironic, too.  Most people with my family history of osteoarthritis and knee replacements have knee pain and so they exercise and diet to relieve the pain.  I was pain free until I started to diet and exercise in earnest.  Add that to your song,  Alanis Morrisette.

Anyway, it doesn't change the fact that continuing to lose weight and exercise will help the pain and ease the symptoms and put off the surgery.  The knee already takes on a force of 3 to 6 times our body weight with each step while walking!  So reducing the amount of weight it is bearing is the best thing that can be done to help it!

I am going to a "knee class" next week, I have given in and changed up my gym routine to include what I find more boring, but less painful. 

A VERY NICE AWARD

Karen from Waisting Time passed on a nice award to me for which I must sum up my blogging experience, motivation and philosophy in just 5 words!

I can't say that I came into blogging with any philosophy except to be honest about my experiences and not disclose what could be embarrassing to my family.  My motivation would be to express myself and to seek community.  My experience would be one of support and enlightenment.

So I will share this Blog With Substance Award with:

 Tami at Nutmeg Notebook

Peacefulbird at Words Paint

Sskar at Writing to Wellness

Sarah at Low Stress Weight Loss

Thank you all!

AEROBIC HOUSEWORK

Sometimes when I skip a day at the gym I say I did "aerobic housework" instead.  I know that you burn calories doing pretty much anything you do - so housework can certainly be done vigorously in a way that will up the burn.

This weekend we moved a sofa from Tom's office to make room for his new "litigation table."  So that meant we had to make room for it in the house.  We moved my comfy old reading chair and ottoman out of the master bedroom (and listed it on the Free Craigslist - it's still sitting in the driveway...)

Tom and Zac, did the moving in and out of the furniture and left it to me to do the arranging.  In the course of the morning I moved the queen sleigh bed, side tables, eight drawer dresser, armoire and sofa around into 3 different configurations.  Of course I did not empty the dresser and armoire and this is all on carpet. Thus, the aerobic and weight lifting component of the day.  (I also vacuumed  because there were feathers from my leaking former down pillow everywhere!)  Then I dusted everything and cleaned the glass shelves and mirrors and picture frames and glass. Finally I was done -  hot, sweaty and while drinking an iced tea I wondered about the reality of the workout aspect of my morning.

So I checked out the calorie burn based on the effort and time spent.  Looks like I did better than I would have if I had done my regular gym routine!  About 620 calories which includes lugging the vacuum up and down the stairs twice because I thought I was done and then rearranged it again and found more feathers...

ONE SIZE DOES NOT FIT ALL

My two slim sisters each have a daughter who tends to the heavy side - we call it the "Bradbury Gene" because that side of the family (which I take after so completely I shouldn't have changed my name when I got married!) struggles with obesity.  They have both asked me for advice about how to help their daughters.  Mostly I tell them to be honest with them that they have gotten a bad deal.  They will have to work harder and pay more attention to their diet than most of their friends.  The good news is that more is known about these things now than when I was a kid.  In those days everyone just assumed I was a sneak eater with no will power.

Research in the July 2010 edition of Genetics discloses that, in fact  some people seem to eat anything they want and never gain a pound, while others seem to gain weight just by looking at fattening foods!  This is because genes interacting with diet, rather than diet alone, are the main cause of variation in metabolic traits. This helps explain why some diets work better for some people than others, and suggests that future diets should be tailored to an individuals genes.  What works for me, may not work for you. 

"There is no one-size-fits all solution to the diseases of obesity and type-2 diabetes," said Laura K. Reed, Ph.D, a researcher from the Department of Genetics at North Carolina State University, the lead investigator in the work. "Each person has a unique set of genetic and environmental factors contributing to his or her metabolic health, and as a society, we should stop looking for a panacea and start accepting that this is a complex problem that may have a different solution for each individual."  (Emphasis mine and something I have been saying all my adult life.)

In short, the study with 146 genetic lines of fruit flies and 4 different diets  (nutritionally balanced, low calorie, high sugar, and high fat) showed that diet alone made small metabolic changes, including iweight, while genotype and genotype interactions with diet made very large changes. "This study strongly suggests that some individuals can achieve benefits from altering their dietary habits, while the same changes for others will have virtually no effect."

So, for my little nieces and others - hang on, science is coming and may just have more answers to the puzzle to make your life with food easier than mine has been!

WILL VANITY BE THE NEW MOTVATION?

I have long said that I am over vanity.  Those days are past me now.  But perhaps that is not true.  I find that I am not willing to post a picture of myself on my blog - and it has little to do with maintaining anonymity.  Now that my sister and I are starting a business, we are deciding if we will put our pictures on our website and business cards.  Skinny and younger, she said no.  Thank goodness.

But really, I need to get to the point that I am will to be photographed and published.  The photo I put on Facebook is about 8 years old and  not that great to begin with.  I have never been that photogenic - my eyes go squinchy when I smile and now that I am older that just means the wrinkles are really pronounced.

HOWEVER - I have decided that by the end of August I will post a picture of myself on my blog.  I hope that the waddle under my chin which replaced the double chin I used to have will be reduced by then...but even if it is still there, I will post it!

CARBO LOADING - A RECIPE!

In an attempt to help Tom with his pre-Century ride nutrition, I was serving more carbohydrate laden meals than I have been in some time.  I found a new recipe that I thought I would share as it was not only very tasty, but low fat for those not concerned with their carbs.

Me, on the other hand, I got a little too involved in the carbo loading and didn't lose any weight last week - so it is back to basics for me - Geez it is amazing how fast I start craving the bread and pasta once I get a taste!

Salmon, Asparagus and Orzo Salad with Lemon Dill Vinaigrette

1 pound asparagus, trimmed and cut into 3 inch pieces

1 cup uncooked orzo pasta

1-1/4 pound salmon filet

1/4 t salt

1/4 t pepper

1/4 cup thinly sliced red onion

Lemon-Dill Vinaigrette

1/3 cup ( 1.3 ounces) crumbled feta cheese

1 T chopped fresh dill

3 T fresh lemon juice

2 t extra virgin olive oil

1/4 t each salt and pepper

 Combine all ingredients.

1.  Bring large pan of water to boil.  Add asparagus and cook until crisp/tender, about 3 minutes.  Remove from water with tongs or a slotted spoon and plunge into iced water to stop cooking.  Drain and set aside.

2.  In remaining boiling water, cook orzo without added salt or fat.  Orzo should remain al dente.  Drain and place in large bowl when done.

3.  While orzo cooks, season salmon with salt and pepper.  Cook under broiler or on grill (using foil to avoid grill marks) until fish flakes easily, about 5 minutes.  Using 2 forks, break fish into large chunks.

4.  Combine fish, orzo, onion, asparagus and dressing in bowl, toss gently to coat.

I served this at room temperature.  I think it would also be good if all the ingredients were made in advance, cooled and tossed together at serving time.  Leftovers the next day were good, but a little bit dry.  A fresh squeeze of lemon brightened them up!

Six servings (1 1/4 cup each)

353 calories

15 fat

25.8 carb

27.4 protein