Tonight I was looking around and found an article on self-esteem. Normally I do not feel I suffer from self-esteem issues. Most of the things mentioned in the story don't apply to me. I can accept compliments, I have a positive attitude and try to surround myself with positive people, I don't dwell on my troubles - after all, my blogging name is Mrs. Brightside!! So what could be the problem?
I am happy I found a job, I believe I will be good at this job, I like the people. However, I am frustrated by the training process. Everyone keeps saying how much there is to learn, they keep "showing" me things. I ask to do it, be hands on with the computer, but they just jump in and do it or stand behind me pointing at the screen so that I am not thinking my way through the steps and learning them. Or, it has been super slow during the times I have been working and there have not been opportunities to learn different things. I read and re-read the written instructions, but it just isn't the same as actually going through the steps on the computer - seeing where the forms need to be filled in, where to click, which file things are in, etc. Also different people I train with tell me different things.
So when I asked how I was doing and I was told I need to speed up, I felt bad. I think my self esteem is suffering a lot. I usually learn things quickly and impress people, in this job that is not happening. It isn't that they seem upset, but they did add another training day to my schedule.
According to the article, I need to take responsibility for these feelings, set achievable goals and not compare myself to others (the other new hire has worked in vet care for 12 years!) Certainly, the answer is not to skip the gym and eat too much. Why is that always the fallback response?
Hum. Maybe I do dwell in the negative a bit more than I care to admit. I talk a better game than I live. I need to live up to my talk. Set my goals and stick with them for the job and for my healthy lifestyle.
