I CALL IT FATDAR

I have a job interview on Monday. I have been trying on clothes ahead of time to see what fits and, happily, I look better in some of my clothes and some need to be taken in a bit. I have a outfit all picked out so I will be less stressed before I head out the door with my resume and references in hand.

Now the only thing I will stress about is whether my interviewer is a secret fattie hater. Because statistically, 43% of employers stigmatize their overweight employees. And that is AFTER they are hired. Considering that there are very few places where there are size discrimination laws on the books, and how hard it is to prove, the likelihood of running into an interviewer with a bias is pretty high.

This Study published by the Yale Rudd Center may explain why:

Research to date suggests that the most common stereotypes about obese employees include views that they are less conscientious, less agreeable, less emotionally stable, and less extraverted that their normal-weight counterparts. To investigate the validity of common stereotypes about overweight job applicants and employees, Roehling and colleagues conducted two studies to examine the relationship between body weight and four relevant personality traits (conscientiousness, agreeableness, emotional stability, and extraversion.) --- No evidence was found for differences in personality characteristics based on weight. These findings help challenge commonly held stereotypes about negative personality traits of overweight employees. ---

Other employers who have openly discussed their reasons for not hiring overweight applicants have listed more basic reasons having to do with their own "experience." One man stated that fat people were weak - unable to resist food, thus weak minded. One woman said they were lazy, and didn't work as hard as thin people. Another suggested that a successful lifestyle meant you would be thin which equalled a successful employee. So, they interview you and they hire someone else who may or may not be a better employee and that is okay with the world right now.

I had a great phone interview, I also made it past the age hurdle. I am very hopeful that this next step will be as positive. I will not assume, if I am not offered a job, that it is my weight as I do not have specific prior experience of the job.

What I do have, kind of like what some women call gaydar, is fatdar. I can tell when I am being judged. I will know.

WORKOUT AND REST

After the aerobics class yesterday I asked the instructor about this knee pain I have been having. We ran through what I have been doing and her thought was that I either did something out of alignment on the machines or I need a rest. She asked what my schedule has been and got a bit wide eyed and said I need to rest.

So today, I rest. I think that the combination of not seeing the scale going down and feeling like it was time to up my work out efforts got me a little, shall we say, over eager?

I will also admit that is is the influence of a TV show I have never actually watched. The Biggest Loser. I don't know the diet, I don't know the exercise or what all else they do - just that they manage to lose LOT'S of weight in a few months. So, of course, I want to do that.

I also read that the process of building muscle - which we know burns more calories, which is a good thing - requires time to replace the broken down proteins and energy stores. If muscles are not given enough time to recover, they become leaner, which means the metabolism is actually lowered. So this can lead to those dreaded weight loss plateaus that need more exercise or fewer calories to shake things up.

So - lesson learned. Mix things up. Take time to rest after a hard work out. Keep the quality protein in the daily food intake. Drink lots of water and get 8 hours of sleep. All of these things contribute to maximum recovery and metabolism.

SOME WEEKS ARE LIKE THAT

So I stayed pretty much on plan , went to the gym, 6 times, took the new class twice.

I did not add my calories, so they may be up. I have been adding in a few variations, a little yogurt instead of milk with my cereal. Half a banana. Homemade salad dressing and not measuring all the salad ingredients, etc. Back to my food log this week.

On Saturday my weight was up 2 pounds, and then on Monday it was back to last week's weight. So - no loss, no gain. Some weeks are like that.

I did increase my weights on my machines. My knees are really feeling it. But it is necessary to keep pushing myself. I am sure that the experts would suggest I have gained muscle mass which will burn more fat - that's cool. We'll see.

AEROBICS FOR THE OLDIES

I have now attended two classes at the gym called CardioFusionRX which is listed as the "gentler on joints" version of the CardioFusion aerobics class. Between the description and the fact that it is held at the retirement (or in my case, unemployment) friendly time of 10:30am, is filled with older ladies.

The instructor is a Latina lady who enthusiastically leads us through samba, rumba and cha-cha moves, entices us to move our hips and add little hops. So far she is the only one hopping, but we gamely try to move our hips and keep up with the footwork. It is a really good workout and a fun alternative to my usual machines.

So, thumbs up on the class.

I usually weigh in on the scale up in on the main workout floor. I am consistent in that I leave my shoes on and I weigh in after my workout. I tried the scale outside the downstairs aerobics room this morning, before the class. It showed another 3 pound loss - but I went upstairs after class to see what the upstairs scale said - nope. Same weight as last weigh in. Consistency is important.

JUST A WALK ON THE TREADMILL

Tom and I have been starting our weekend with a trip to the gym on Friday evening for a work out which we follow with a dinner out and a stroll around town. It is funny how going out on Friday evening, makes the weekend seem longer, and it has evolved into a date night for us.

Last Friday after dropping Ally at school I automatically went to the gym. It wasn't until I was there that I remembered I would be coming back in the evening - oh well.

So the evening work out I switched it up. Did something new. I got on the treadmill and walked a couple of miles and I played with the incline up and down for some intervals. Afterwards we went out, walked around and my feet were hurting. Went home and watched the Opening Ceremonies of the Olympics and my knees were hurting. I took some Advil and got ready for bed and my hips were hurting.

That walk on the treadmill with the incline up and down had me in pain all weekend. Geez. Guess I found something I need to incorporate into my routine - but maybe just a little bit at a time...

At least I lost 2 more pounds.

EMOTIONAL EATING - PART 1

There are many studies devoted to the connection between emotions and eating. Science has proven that eating a meal alters people's moods and emotions, reduces irritation and has a calming effect. Many of us use food to sooth ourselves or to suppress emotions - when used in this way it is called emotional eating.

Under stress, depression, anxiety - any kind of negative emotions - people often seek the immediate gratification of comfort foods. Studies find it is sweet and fatty foods most often chosen under stress (not to mention larger amounts of food.) For most, it is a temporary lapse. For many, me among them, it is a long term coping device.


Biology plays a part. Not only do sweets taste good, but diet high in carbs releases endorphins and other pleasure stimulating brain chemicals. Stress is reduced, appetite for more is stimulated and a cycle is started that, over time, causes weight gain and recrimination.

My Story



This whole coping mechanism started for me as an adolescent. I am not sure exactly why. I know our aunt came to live with us and she had a severe weight problem. I was repelled by her appearance, yet under her influence a great deal of the time. She would buy "treats" and eat them while out in the car or hide them once home.





I am the the oldest of 5 kids, My position was sort of displaced by my aunt moving in. Plus, I was supposed to finally have my own room, but I ended up sharing it with her.

I think I was ripe for this sort of sense of power. Something I could do for me and not have to share. I was old enough to ride my bike places and buy candy and bring it home and tuck it away just for me to have anytime I wanted. So different than how my mother doled out the occasional sweets. It wasn't large amounts, but it was enough, along with the onset of puberty to bring my weight up and out of the normal range.

By high school my aunt was out of the house, I was very concerned about keeping my weight down and was eating very little most of the time in order to appear "normal" when going out to eat with friends. My emotional eating habits didn't rise up again until college.

More to come...

THE SLOW BURN

It always happens. It always slows down. The high speed weight drops of the first few weeks slow down and the trip to the scale is less rewarding.

This has been a disappointing week in many respects - so I wish this could have waited, but there it is. No more pounds lost to report.

WORKING THROUGH DIET BOREDOM

I have been going through a few days of boredom with my eating plan. Wanting some variety in tastes and textures. I spent some extra time in the store and looking through cookbooks to see if I could find some new variations for the "lean and green" meal - usually dinner. It is pretty limited.

It also appears that people who have been on the plan for a long time have found the same thing, they stick to simple variations. I have ordered some different products for my meal replacements. I find that being limited to the products which are controlled in portion and calories really helps me. When the time comes, I'll move on to "regular" meals. For now, this is working. I just wish there were more flavors - seems like everything is chocolate!

I have bought some of the sugar free syrups which can be added to the protein shakes and puddings, although, I think the basic flavor extracts work just as well, if not better.

I have also been playing with some new salad dressings. I made a sort of remoulade dressing for a shrimp salad this weekend with some capers, lemon juice, diced shallot, celery and sugar free catsup and low fat mayo.

Trying to keep things interesting!

I lost another 3 pounds so far this week.

A SMILE ON MY FACE

I left the gym with a smile on my face this morning - down another 5 pounds. That is a surprise considering the work out I gave the peanut butter jar earlier this week!

I have only walked once due to the rain, but I did increase the resistance on my stepper.

I do worry that my family is going to balk at some point when it become very apparent that I am not cooking some old favorite dinners. My "lean and green" dinners are pretty constraining. So far I have been making sides for them that I don't eat, but not making anything fried or any casseroles. More dinner salads with different ingredients in mine than theirs and bread for them.

Last night I made a Taco Salad with shredded lettuce, cilantro, tomatoes, green onions, olives, avocado, shredded cheese, ground turkey, black beans, tortilla chips and a salsa dressing. I left off the cheese and chips and had just a bit of olives and avocado on mine. Tom liked it so much he said he wanted to eat it all over again!

STRESS BRINGS OUT THE PEANUT BUTTER

I am thinking I may have to stop buying peanut butter. I posted on my regular blog about my scary day, Thursday in the ER, with Ally - her first migraine. She called from school today thinking she was getting one again. I zoomed over with the new medicine she is supposed to have immediately and then came home and got more and more nervous waiting to hear from her.

I had my proper plan breakfast and mid-morning snack. Then I pulled out the celery and crunched through 5 or 6 stalks and then the peanut butter came out. Since I did not measure, but rather used the celery to scoop, the amount would be a guess. I'll honesty say I stopped myself at about 1/2 cup. It may have been less, but I doubt it.

So I did not eat again until dinner and then had salad with some chicken.

Ally is ok. But I should stop buying peanut butter.