I was talking with a girlfriend the other day about the fact that I will never be able to eat like normal people do. That I have to eat less than most people to maintain weight and a LOT less to lose weight.
Everyone who knows me can see that I don't really eat that much. I am a waste of money at a buffet. I can nibble all day, but eat large amounts? No way. Yes, I occasionally binge, I sometimes make indulgent choices when faced with a menu, the holidays sometimes extend into March, that sort of thing. And then I am up by many pounds. Compound that by 20 years and here I am.
I realized that I was able to deal with this as a single woman. I didn't eat like most people, I ate mini meals most of the time. But when I got married, actually, when my to be husband and I began to co-habitate, I began to eat like a "normal" person. What I thought a normal person did.
NORMAL. What is normal?
In my mind normal was 3 meals a day and maybe a dessert. Dinner is the meal you have with the family. You have a protein, a vegetable and a starch. Breakfast and lunch are full meals, too. Gaining weight didn't have to do with letting myself go. It had to do with letting myself be normal - what I perceived as normal.
HELLO?
If I couldn't eat that way before, why did I think I could eat that way after? Major disconnect. Of course, it is because I wanted so much to BE normal. I didn't want to be exposed as NOT normal. It is that same magical thinking that if no one sees you eat that hidden stash of goodies then then you won't gain weight from eating it....right?
My girlfriend admonished me in no uncertain terms that she, and no one she knows who is slim and maintains a slim weight eats "normally" as I had perceived it. She very carefully watches her carbs, pretty much always has a salad for lunch, plain protein and veggies for dinner. Her indulgence is wine, not sweets.
And all these years I could have sat down with husband and family and have very small portions, left off the pasta and skipped the rolls; had a salad for lunch instead of polishing off leftovers of the previous night's dinner. I could have easily managed my weight like I did as a single woman without making a big deal about it. And no one would have thought I was ABNORMAL.
Because there is no normal.
1 comment:
It is interesting to me to see what others eat who are able to maintain their goal weight. On a forum I visit often, the other gals are really not eating much. I used to look at that in amazement and think I could not live that way. But now I think maybe I can. It is going to be more a mental challenge for retrain myself that I really don't need to eat a lot. I am a petite person... that doesn't help.
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