FRUSTRATION

Sometimes I hate the weekends. I know that I do it to myself to an extent because I feel that I have to take care of everyone else and then fit my needs in.

Ally had to to to meet a group to work on a school project. There were numerous phone calls and texts exchanged last evening making arrangements and setting the time. So she needed to be there at 11. Tom has gone out for a long bike ride and I am hanging around all morning, dressed for the gym. Then the time is changed to 11:30 because someone had to go to church. Ally is mad that I question why she didn't know last night she was going to church?

Finally it is almost time to go and she announces she needs $20. Well, I spent most my cash yesterday at the farmer's market. So now Tom is home so she goes to him for the money and he says he'll take her and get money on the way. And off they go.

So I have waited around all morning and now I am not even driving her. Geez. At that point I said forget it, I'm not going to the gym. I changed clothes and went out to work on a mosaic. It was colder than I thought, I went back in to change again and realized that I wasn't feeling enthusiastic about the mosaic and I should just make myself go to the gym.

So I did. I worked out pretty hard, too. I tried the elliptical machine again - only lasted 10 minutes. But I will keep trying.

No sooner was I home again than I had to go pick Ally up, the video camera they were using ran out of batteries. Planning is not the forte of this group.

HOLDING STEADY

My weight is holding steady. I have purchased some new foods which I think will be more satisfying and help keep my calories lower.

I saw an interesting story about weight loss and the slower metabolism which takes over at my age.

First was to add intervals to workouts - which I realize I had been doing in the past, but have let down on in my efforts to up my resistance. So I will concentrate on adding the intervals back.

Go slow on the weight lifting to break down more muscle fiber which then takes more energy to rebuild.

Take fish oil. Makes me nauseous, but I do.

Drink ice water! Weird - but I already do. It is supposed to increase metabolism to warm it to body temp.

Eat breakfast which I do.

Drink coffee - I drink tea. But it is about the caffeine. Also drink green tea, which I have now added to my iced tea pitcher.

Protein at lunch. Eat salmon. Duh.

Don't drink alcohol - it slows metabolism for 72 hours. Damn.

A LITTLE BREAK

I took a little break from my program to enjoy the long weekendwith Maggie. I wasn't toooo bad, as I went to the gym twice. But I did eat somewhat freely.

Tomorrow I weigh in and start again!

STILL (MOSTLY) ON PLAN

I have had a couple of days I have gone over plan on the "lean & green" meals. Mosstly when trying to split them between lunch and dinner. I had a brief compulsive eating binge on Sunday night - but I listed all the items and still didn't break 1400 calories. I keep trying to understand these feelings behind these impulses. Trying to find some sort of satisfaction or something. I can't say. Sunday night is always a tense time for me.

I weighed in today and I am down 2 more pounds.

WEEKEND WEIGH IN

Now this is more like it. I have lost 6 pounds this week. I know that the first week is always a high number - but I'll take it.

I had a good workout today, I took Friday off because I was sore from my earlier work-outs. I increased the weight and resistance on all the machines.

I think I was right that I needed the reduced choices offered by this plan. I hope I can continue it for some time.

SURVIVED DAY 2

I have done 2 days now on the Medifast program. The products are not very tasty or filling. The funny thing is that I received some samples from a company called New Lifestyles and those products have been tasty.

Day one I had a cinnamon bar, then a vanilla "shake" which was totally watery, a "beef stew" that was thick and had some tiny little chunks of stuff and a salad with chicken and low fat dressing for dinner. Then after dinner I had the sample chocolate bar which was dense and a bit chewy.

Day 2 I have had a cinnamon bar, a chocolate shake, a salad with tuna, a sample chocolate pudding (thick) and for dinner I had a very watery "cream" of broccoli soup with added broccoli. I will probably have another pudding or bar tonight.

I feel good, I exercised both days with no negative issues (as warned) and I have not been terribly hungry. So far so good. I will have to work on the food selections, but I have 2 weeks of the Medifast product that I will have to consume. But I think I'll be ordering stuff from the other company, too.

A NEW TACTIC

I have the work out routine in line, going 5 times a week for 1-1.5 hours of exercise. I have pretty much cut out the sugar. I have been using the Alli. I have lost 1 pound. I am still eating too much. I have just not gotten used to working at home, in the kitchen.

So I was looking for a way to narrow my options. I was looking around at the Kaiser website to see what they offer - after all, we are paying $1350 a month for our health care plan. But all the weight loss options they offer are not covered by our plan. They see aiding weight loss along the lines of cosmetic surgery and Lasik -as a money making opportunity. They offer a program using Optifast with a support group, but they will not reveal the cost. You have to sign up and attend a class.

So, I thought I would shop around for other, similar options. I found Medifast online. Their plan is 5 mini pre-made meals and one "lean and green" meal. That appeals to me because I can make a meal for the family and adjust my part to fit the plan.

I could order the shakes, bars, soups, etc. online or drive a few miles to a center. Since I want to start tomorrow - I went to the center.

I had to laugh. It is located in a shopping center which contains a BBQ restaurant, McDonalds, a pizza parlor and was nestled in between Taco Bell and Dairy Queen!!! The clients have to be very dedicated to make it out of the the shopping center with their will power intact!

I bought 2 weeks worth of products...I will report in on the weekend.

SBD FAILURE

I stuck very faithfully to the South Beach diet for the last week (I only slipped on Friday when I had a cocktail and a glass or 2 of wine.). No pounds lost on the scale.

I went to 2 "spine classes" in the physical therapy department last week. I am learning the correct stretches and body mechanics for my disc issues. The pain is moving from my hip to my back - which I am told means I am healing. Hurrah.

The best medicine would be to lose weight - so I will knock the calories down from 1800-2000 to 1200-1500.

WHERE HAVE I BEEN?

First I got sick - then I got self-indulgent. Ok? Leave me alone!

I did manage to get my Kaiser doc to set me up for some x-rays, physical therapy and a visit with the podiatrist. Pretty much anything to get me out of her exam room. Geez, that woman allows about 3.5 minutes and then she is outta there...

The podiatrist was great, very informative and helpful. I have some arthritis in the joints on the top of my foot, and without additional arch support, I am getting that occasional pain and major swelling. So she recommended inserts from the pharmacy which have been very effective except that they don't fit in my little flats. I need to go back and get the thinnest size and see if those will work. Otherwise, I will just wear the cute little flats for very short periods of time. Aging has very little room for cute.

Then I went to the physical therapist. Turns out that the pain I have had in my hip and down the side of my leg is due to a disc in my lower back which is being pushed out of place. I have a couple of exercises to start with and I start "Spine Classes" next week. I also have a little posture correction to work on. I feel much better having a diagnosis and plan. For nearly a year I have been worried about having a hip replacement or something. This is much more manageable.

So I was back to the gym and working out with inserts in my shoes, some new moves and my mind on spring coming soon and the clothes I can't yet zip...

WEEKEND WEIGH IN

Well - I am up 2 pounds this week. I went through my information and my calories are good, went to the gym 5 times and a long walk the one sunny day we had. So what is going on?? I finally decided it is because I am sitting all day for my new work - and before I was on my feet for at least 3 hours and sometimes 5-6 hours of the day.

So I am going to have to increase my daily exercise to make up for it. When it isn't raining I think I'll try a walk during the day. I could try a few extra trips up and down the stairs, too!

I WORK IN THE KITCHEN

They say real estate is all about location, location, location. My new job has a location problem. It is located in the kitchen.

I should say my desk with phone and computer is located here. And proximity is an issue. For the past 2 days I have been distracted by my location. I hope I will get past it!

I have posted a picture of myself on the frig (the one here with my darling girls) and will keep toting up all the items I am eating on my food diary. I really don't want to loose the forward momentum I gained on my trip.

WEEKEND WEIGH IN

Just got back from a visit with my parents in Palm Desert. They live in a beautiful development for ages 55 plus. There are 2 golf courses which they spend a lot of time enjoying, a couple of nice gyms, tennis, bike lanes and walking trails. There was snow on the peaks of the mountains and the days were clear and cool.

I hit the gym twice and walked with my mom one day. They eat very healthy meals and the indulgence of the week was wine and a couple of cocktails. I weighed in today and I have lost another 6 pounds. Yeah!

The big change for me going forward is that I'll be working from home. My desk and computer are in the kitchen. Proximity is dangerous for me! I frequently take myself upstairs to distract myself from grazing. So this will take a great deal of willpower.

The plus side is that I have much more time for the gym, and I can take a walk during the day to refresh myself. I am also looking forward to being here in the afternoons for my daughter when she comes home from school. She isn't too pleased, though!

WEEKEND WEIGH IN

A pretty good week. I went to the gym 3 times, I logged my food 5 days and I lost 2 pounds.

I have not been in a great place mentally. I thought that reaching goal of menopause meant that things would stabilize when it came to moods and hot flashes and sleeplessness. But, no. Apparently it can go on indefinitely. I have found that I am not having a fluctuation in moods - I am just down. I feel sad and tired and it frustrates me. The worst of it is that I had a total melt down at work which has completely shot my creditability.

So much for Mrs. Brightside...which reminds me, I come to that name for my blog because of a song I find irresistible for my workouts. It is by The Killers - called I'm Mr. Brightside. I have 4 songs by that band on my workout music.

Here is a link to the Youtube video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnwLf88t_Wc

Since I got my iPod I have found I have much better and longer aerobic work outs when I have the right mix of music going.

WEEKEND WEIGH IN AND OTHER NOTES

The good news is that I logged my food for 5 days out of 7. The calorie counts have been high - averaging 1850 - so the loss of only 1 pound is to be accepted. I went to the gym 3 times this week.

I realized about half way through the week that the Splenda brown sugar I have been using on my morning oatmeal and blueberries has sugar in it. (It is not in the origional bag, it is in a sealed container...ooops.) Therefore I have not been completely sugar free.

My indulgence has been popcorn and mixed berries with Splenda. Yum.

This week - get the calorie counts down.

Ow

I went to the gym with Maggie on Sunday and I guess I over did it. I was on the stepper for 40 minutes, which is about average time-wise. But I was all hyped up and I was going fast.

I stretched out a lot after, but didn't go into the steam or whirlpool or even shower right away. By the time I showered and went to bed - I was in major achy mode. And my foot hurt - really sharp pain. Even 3 Advil did not sooth the pains enough to go to sleep. Took sleep med at 1 a.m.

I've got to ease into this...

JANUARY 8 - WHAT'S UP?

I have been entering my food to My Food Diary online. The calorie counts have been fairly high, but the point is to get mindfiul and into the habit of making the entries.

I am still coughing like crazy from the New Year's cold I caught - so the activity is limited. But I plan to start to the gym 3 mornings a week starting Tuesday.

Maggie goes back to school on Monday, so I have to get the courage to let her take photos of me before then - then I need to see if I can post them...

THE PLAN - PART 4

I plan to use the diet aid called Alli. I have used the prescription dose in the past with no ill effects. Even though there are horror stories out there about this fat absorbing diet aid, I used it when I was on a low carb diet and never had any problems.

I have a supply of the over the counter product, which is at a smaller dosage. I hope that it is effective, if not, I will see about getting a prescription again. My insurance does not pay for it (hurrah for Kaiser). The Kaiser doctors find it necessary to lecture me about my weight when I go in, but that is as far as Kaiser is willing to go to aid obese patients. Guilt. Very helpful.

PART 3 OF THE PLAN

I have been very successful in the past when I have cut sugar out of my diet. I am not going to do the carb free sort of plan where I have to be concerned with the sugar content of fruits (I really missed bananas) and condiments (I just can't get excited about how much sugar there is in catsup when I hardly ever eat it) and the sugar content of carrots? Really?

I mean plain old white sugar in all the goodies which can be made with it.

I got my baking itch scratched in December - I made six kinds of holiday cookies and enjoyed a luscious Gingerbread Pear cake Maggie made. I had dessert and a pastry on our trip to Napa. I even had a couple of bowls of peppermint ice cream. So I had my last hurrah with the sugar for the time being.

THE PLAN - PART 2

We belong to a wonderful gym. It is large, bright and, unlike our last gym, smells good. It has very nice shower facilities, lockers, steam and dry sauna ans whirlpool tub.

I will be going to this wonderful place at least 5 times per week. I will be using my favorite aerobic equipment (featured in the photo a seated step machine), weights, and spend time stretching.

I will weigh myself at least once per week. I say at least because I tend to weigh myself everytime I go to the gym. I don't have a scale at home.

I am interested in working up to the point of taking some classes and trying the elliptical machines. I don't know if I will like them, but at this time I am too heavy to use them. The little foot pads stay firmly on the ground when I mount. Yeah - kinda depressing.